It’s no secret if you follow me on Instagram that I have shared about trying for a third child. No, it’s not to try for a boy. It is simply that my husband and I are open and feel called to expand our family when God sees fit. It is truly and ultimately up to God.
Children are the greatest blessing God gives us. So much so that the Catholic church asks the couple if they are willing to except children openly and freely during wedding vows. I feel almost embarrassed to admit that I had not fully understood this vow until last week.
Last week during our small group (seven married couples on our faith journey through marriage and parenthood) discussion someone asked something along the lines of, “how could God not bless a family with children? I really just can’t understand that and I’m not sure how to help this friend, especially since this friend doesn’t have faith.”. One answer really resonated with me, “being open to children does not mean that a family needs to have a certain number of children. It simply means to always be open to the possibility of children, biological or adopted, and maybe a childless married couple is called by God in another way to serve.” How beautiful is that?!
Since we are open to adding another little soul to our family and have yet to get pregnant after what feels like months, this response really spoke to me. I felt like the Holy Spirit was truly present and was knocking on my heart saying “hello, did you just hear that?!”
Another answer, slightly off topic, was about suffering and how there are beautiful graces to be found in suffering. Since Catholicism is the only religion I know of that teaches a great deal about suffering (if there are other denominations that teach about suffering but please let me know). I cannot remember the exact response about suffering, but it was another powerful one, at least for me. It went something along the lines of how God doesn’t give us suffering as a punishment for our sins, but more as a way to bring us closer to Him. All of our end goals in life, I would assume and hope, are to make it to heaven (or purgatory) and all gifts (good or bad) are from God and those gifts help us on our journey to make it to heaven.
The whole point of this post, honestly, was for me to jot down some of my constant thoughts from the past week for me to remember when I might be getting down about another negative pregnancy test or my cycle starting again. It truly is in God’s hands and I need to remember that my husband and I are following God’s will by being open to children.